Humorous Quotes attributed to Tom Robbins
1936- , American Author

A better world has gotta start somewhere. Why not with you and me? (Still Life with Woodpecker)

A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. (Jitterbug Perfume)

According to my mother, some sort of phantom stole into the room where I lay in my cradle and struck me on the head with a silver hammer. (In response to "To what do you attribute that marvelous imagination of yours...")

Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard. (Jitterbug Perfume)

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

Don't believe everything about me you read on the 'Net.

Green is my favorite color, except for flesh.

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

I started before I was old enough to know better. My muse was a cradle-robber, a child-molester. She seduced an innocent, blue-eyed, tow-headed, pre-literate tot and turned him into a paragraph junkie. (In reply to how he got started as a novelist)

I write with a raven quill dipped in lizard blood. Or, rather, I used to. Now that chameleons have become an endangered species, I'm making my ink from berries. (In response to "When you're writing a book, how many pens/pencils/pencil crayons/markers do you go through?")

If God had a bumper sticker, it would probably read: SHINE, DON'T WHINE.

If you exclude certain bodily appendages, the only instrument I've ever been able to play at all well is the typewriter.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the custom of shaving. (Skinny Legs and All)

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.

Punctuality is one of my few virtues. Actually, punctuality may be my ONLY virtue.

Recently, I've been working on a yoga technique that when perfected will allow me to blow in my own ear.

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.

Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and none worth killing for.

There are two kinds of people in this world : those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

There is a similarity between juggling and composing on the typewriter. The trick is, when you spill something, make it look like a part of the act. (Still Life with Woodpecker)

To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. (Jitterbug Perfume)

Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.

You don't have to be a genius to recognize one. If you did, Einstein would never have gotten invited to the White House. (Jitterbug Perfume)

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