Humorous Quotes attributed to Homer Simpson
Cartoon Character, Head of the family in - 'The Simpsons'

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!

Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my speciality. "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you."

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key? I see Esk, Catarl, and Pig-Up. There doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

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