Humorous Quotes from
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
By Douglas Adams
- Mr. L. Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape.
- Time is an illusion. Lunch time doubly so.
- The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat.
- Charming man, I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry . . .
- It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
‘What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?’
‘You ask a glass of water.’
- Prostetnic Bogon Jeltz smiled very slowly. This was done not so much for effect as because he was trying to remember the sequence of muscle movements.
- I don’t want to die now! I've still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!
- Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space.
- Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
- Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much – the wheel, New York, wars and so on – whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man – for precisely the same reasons.
- The Answer to the Great Question . . . of Life, the Universe and Everything . . . Is . . . Forty-two.
- ‘Do you want me to kick you?’ said Ford.
‘Would it give you a lot of pleasure?’ said Zaphod, blearily.
‘Nor me. So what’s the point?
- ‘That’s it,’ said Zaphod with the sort of grin that would get most people locked away in a room with soft walls.
- I’d far rather be happy than right any day.
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