Humorous Quotes attributed to
Garfield
Infamous cartoon cat, created by Jim Davis

A little ego goes nowhere.

All I do is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. There must be more to a cat's life than that. But I hope not.

Anybody can exercise... But this kind of lethargy takes real discipline.

Avoid fruits and nuts: after all, you are what you eat.

Eat every meal as though it were your last.

Good times are ahead ! Or behind. Because they sure aren't here.

His I.Q. is so low you can't test it. You have to dig for it.

I am hungry. Therefore I am.

I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. It's a vicious circle... that took years to perfect!

I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with ... one quart of Mayonnaise !

I'm not messy. I'm organizationally challenged !

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen !

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

Never leave your food dish under a bird cage.

Odie, let's talk effort versus return here. You know, you can still lead a pointless life without all that running around.

Oh no! I overslept ! I'm late ! For my nap.

If you must wear a tie, get yourself a Garfield Tie. Click HERE!!!

Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath.

Some people have anxiety attacks, some people have gas attacks ... I have nap attacks.

This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony... How depressing. There's no place to go after you've reached the top.

When the lasagna content in my blood gets low, I get mean.

With due respect to Will Rogers, I never met a lasagna I didn't like.

Would you be willing to lead a parade in celebration of the lazy life? If the answer is yes... you're all wrong for lazy week.

You can bet it wasn't an exercise freak who invented power steering.

You can scratch my chair, you can insult my mother, you can beat up my dog, and you can play with my rubber mousie... but you don't eat my food and you don't sleep in my bed.

You know what is a "diet" is, don't you? It's "die" with a "t," that's what it is!

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