Humorous Quotes from
So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish
By Douglas Adams

He had read somewhere that the Eskimos had over two hundred different words for snow, without which their conversation would probably have got very monotonous.

The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying ‘And another thing...’ twenty minutes after admitting he’s lost the argument.

The cheery quality of Ford’s voice was beginning to grate on the barman’s ears. It sounded like someone relentlessly playing the kazoo during one of the more somber passages of a War Requiem.

Ford flipped the switch which he saw was now marked ‘Mode Execute Ready’ instead of the now old-fashioned ‘Access Standby’ which had so long ago replaced the appallingly stone-aged ‘Off’.

Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat.

He shook his head sharply in the hope that it might dislodge some salient fact which would fall into place and make sense of an otherwise utterly bewildering Universe.

He looked a lot like something a farmer would use to scare birds with.

Will came out, wearing a leather flying jacket that he’d got a mate of his at the Road Research Laboratory to crash a car into specially, in order to get that battered look.

It was next to a battered old television on which it was only possible to watch Open University Study Courses, because if it tried to show anything more exciting it would break down.

There is a feeling which persists in England that making a sandwich interesting, attractive, or in any way pleasant to eat is something sinful that only foreigners do.

It is by eating sandwiches in pubs on Saturday lunchtimes that the British seek to atone for whatever their national sins have been.

The appallingly permed woman was waving to them across the room like some stupid bird with a broken wing.

This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be the perfect time to disembark.

This is the rock solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation’s Galaxy-wide success is founded – their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler’s mind.

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