Humorous Quotes about
- Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.~ Lord Byron
- The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk. ~ Alben W. Barkley
- Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts. ~ Finley Peter Dunne
- Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks. ~ P.J. O'Rourke (The Bachelor Home Companion)
- Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it’s very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint. ~ P.J. O'Rourke (The Bachelor Home Companion)
- There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man
shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he
doesn't. ~ William Faulkner
- I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. ~ W. C. Fields
- It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. ~ W. C. Fields
- Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
~ Ernest Hemingway
- And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man. ~ A. E. Housman
- I drink to forget I drink. ~ Joe E. Lewis
- I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.
~ Dean Martin
- Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker. ~ Ogden Nash
- I only drink to make other people seem more interesting. ~ George Jean Nathan
- What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. ~ Irish Proverb
- There are more old drunkards than old physicians. ~ Francois Rabelais (Gargantua)
- Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. ~ Bernard Shaw
- Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge
- When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk. ~ Sir Richard Burton
- Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.
~ Jean Kerr
- I'm not so think as you drunk I am. ~ John Squire
- Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. ~ Mark Twain
- The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
~ William Butler Yeats
- You can't be a Real Country unless you have a Beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a
Beer. ~ Frank Zappa
- Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't
remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. - George Burns
- After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged
headlong into the Great Depression. ~ Dave Barry (Dave Barry hits below the beltaway)
- When I finally embraced abstinence it was because of the simple urge to work a longer day. Thus, without joining Alcoholics Anonymous, I was at last able to leave Piss-Artists Notorious. ~ Clive James (Falling towards England)
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