Humorous Quotes attributed to Bill Cosby
1937- , American Comedian, TV Show Host
Always end the name of your child with a
vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. (Fatherhood)
As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Civilization had too many rules for me, so
I did my best to rewrite them.
College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things. (Congratulations! Now What?)
"Don't worry about senility," my
grandfather used to say. "When it hits you, you won't know it." (Time
Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones
who eat broccoli.
Having a child is surely the most
beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. (Fatherhood)
I don't know the key to success, but the
key to failure is trying to please everybody.
I guess the real reason that my wife and I
had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it
seemed like a good idea at the time. (Fatherhood)
I want to die before my wife, and the
reason is this: If it is true that when you die, your soul goes up to
judgment, I don't want my wife up there ahead of me to tell them things.
I was lying, of course: that's what parents do best. (Congratulations! Now What?)
I wasn't always black... There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first. (Time Flies)
In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee. (Time
In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women. (Love and Marriage)
For all kind of
Bill Cosby stuff.
From his posters and photos
to his books, audios and videos. Even event tickets.
All being auctioned at ebay. To check what
treat lies waiting for you today ...
Let us now set forth one of the
fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one
basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught
me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
No matter how calmly you try to referee,
parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking
about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Nothing separates the generations more
than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion
for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for
procrastination and weird clothes.
Parents are not quite interested in
justice, they are interested in quiet.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Since self-deception is the heart of falling in love, perhaps the best sex education for a boy is not studying drawings of reproductive systems but simply learning to lie to himself. (Love and Marriage)
That married couples can live together day
after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
The average person wonders every day about
the weather, but I never think about that. I think instead about when Macy's
will be getting artificial hearts. (Time Flies)
The essence of childhood, of course, is
play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly
shared with traffic.
The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I couldn't identify the formation. (Love and Maariage)
Today's parents grew up with the silly
notion that music was meant to be heard. (Fatherhood)
Whenever your kids are out of control, you
can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His kids. (Fatherhood)
Women are prone to irrationality just before menstruation. Men, on the other hand, have a nice evenness to their irrationality. They can be just as crazy at Easter as they are on Veterans Day. (Love and Marriage)
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.
Have you checked out
this super book?
Have you checked out
this super DVD?
Back to Humorous Quotes
WorkingHumor.com now has a Facebook Page. It's still a baby, hasn't learnt how to dance yet
but maybe you're the one we're waiting for, to get the party started ;o! Check it out here