Humorous Quotes attributed to Abraham Lincoln
1809-1865, Sixteenth President of the USA

Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.

I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot.

I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.

I happen temporarily to occupy this big White House. I am living witness that any one of your children may look to come here as my father's child has.

I have stepped out upon this platform that I may see you and that you may see me, and in the arrangement I have the best of the bargain.

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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.

Tell me what brand of whiskey that Grant drinks. I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.

The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

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