Humorous Quotes from
The Restaurant at The End of the World
By Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

When he heard the words 'integrity' or 'moral rectitude' he reached for his dictionary, and when he heard the chink of ready money in large quantities he reached for the rule book and threw it away.

I know because I'm dead and it gives one such a wonderfully uncluttered perspective. We have a saying up here. "Life is wasted on the living."

I think the only reason I waste my breath on you is that being dead I don't have any other use of it.

If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner..Please don't hesitate to get lost.

If you then walked to the end of Life Boulevard you would enter the Lalamatine district of shops, bolonut trees and pavement cafes where the UM- Betans come to relax after a hard afternoon's relaxation on the beach.

Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind.

If he was asked at this moment where he would like to be he would probably have said he would like to be lying on the beach with at least fifty beautiful women and a small team of experts working out new ways they could be nice to him.

I'm so great even I get tongue-tied talking to myself.

'Have another drink,' said Trillian, 'Enjoy yourself.'
'Which?' said Arthur, 'the two are mutually exclusive.'

The End of the Universe is very popular, people like to dress up for it, Gives it a sense of occasion.

'Listen you semi-evolved simian,' cut in Zaphod, 'go climb a tree will you?'

If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.

Arthur and Trillian had the fixed expressions of rabbits on a night road who think that the best way of dealing with approaching headlights is to stare them out.

Matter transference beams, he decided, were not as much fun as, say, a good solid kick in the head.

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