Humorous Quotes from Douglas Adams's
Life, the Universe and Everything

Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in. At least being lost in space kept you busy.

There is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad.

There is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Ford was beginning to behave rather strangely, or rather not actually beginning to behave strangely but beginning to behave in a way which was strangely different from the other strange ways in which he more regularly behaved.

Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe.

He had picked up Slartibarfast’s sense of urgency but didn’t know what to do with it.

On a waiter’s bill pad reality and unreality collide on such a fundamental level that each becomes the other and anything is possible, within certain parameters.

The sun struggled feebly with the mist, tried to impart a little warmth here, shed a little light there, but clearly today was going to be just another long haul across the sky.

Fourteen hours later the sun sank hopelessly beneath the opposite horizon with a sense of totally wasted effort.

I would like to say that it is very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission.

He then had another quick one (drink) to follow the first one down and check that is was all right.

They believe in “peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family, life, and the oblitration of all other life forms”.

He lay, panting heavily in the wet air, and tried feeling bits of himself to see where he might be hurt. Wherever he touched himself, he encountered a pain. After a short while he worked out that this was because it was his hand that was hurting.

One of the interesting things about space is how dull it is.

He expanded his chest to make it totally clear that here was the sort of man you only dared to cross if you had a team of Sherpas with you.

‘I’d love to stay and help you save the Galaxy,’ insisted Zaphod, raising himself up on to his shoulders, ‘but I have the mother and father of a pair of headaches, and I feel a lot of little headaches coming on. But next time it needs saving, I’m your guy.'

He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.

The ceilings were high, vaulted and very dark. Shadows lurked there with grim determination.

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