Humorous Quotes attributed to Kin Hubbard
1868-1930, American Humorist
Creator of 'Abe Martin'

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

The safest way to double your money is to fold over once and put it in your pocket.

The world gets better every day -- then worse again in the evening.

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Why doesn't the fellow who says, ''I'm no speechmaker'' let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

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