Humorous Quotes attributed to Jean Kerr
1923- , American Author, Playwright

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want --an adorable pancreas?

If you can keep your head about you when all about you are losing theirs, its just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

In many ways, a drama critic leads an ideal existence, or would if he didn't have to see so many plays. (Please Don't Eat the Daisies)

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

My own attendance record (at the theatre) is rather higher than the average. This can be explained by the fact that I have those four small children and naturally have to get out a lot. (Please Don't Eat the Daisies)

Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.

Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. (Please Don't Eat the Daisies)

We are being very careful with our children. They’ll never have to pay a psychiatrist twenty-five dollars an hour to find out why we rejected them. We’ll tell them why we rejected them. Because they're impossible, that's why. (Please Don't Eat the Daisies)

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself--like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

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