Humorous Quotes from
Robin Williams Interviews

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

Then we had these wild parties in Alaska because they drink something called... they 'Hydereiser' you there which is 175-180 proof. Do the math, that's a lot of alcohol.

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like 'What? There's no toilet?' Once you get used to high speed you ain’t going back.

(About his album live 2002) Yes, this is the dvd, this is the audio, this is the visual, combine them and you have a wonderful evening.

(Questions and answers. If you find no continuity, remember these are extracts from various different interviews. If you didn't notice any difference send a recommendation to your favorite channel to hire me ;-)

Q. Do you go to Oakland Raiders games and sit with the maniacs in the Black Hole?
I've never had the balls or the medication to do that.

Q: Did you enjoy the scene in McCovey Cove?
...The surfboard guy sitting on the board. The people in inner tubes, ferry boats, little dinghies. And the sharks are going, 'Isn't life wonderful?' It's like us going to a restaurant with a lobster tank.

Q. What do you make of the Augusta-women's rights flap?
...Now they're going to put on the Masters without sponsors. So that's no ads and no women -- it's like the Catholic Open now! And Hootie will come out on the veranda and announce, 'O.K., y'all! We finally got one sponsor: the Vatican!'

Q. What do you think of the Williams sisters?
... the Williams sisters have gotten a lot of guys to watch tennis. They're out on the court practically naked, grunting. [Goes into gruntfest] 'Ahh! Oooh! Unngh!' Who needs those phone-sex operators? You can just listen to tennis!

Q. Who do you admire as an actor and comedian, and who would you like to work with?
The one man I admired most died -- Peter Sellers. It would be hard to work with him.

Q. What was like working opposite Al Pacino?
It was great to work with him. It's like playing with the best. It's like hitting balls with Andre Agassi and you can get it back over the net.

Q. What role have you not been offered but would really like to do?
Not been offered? Einstein on ice. I haven't been offered that yet. I'd like to do that... The whole program would be a millisecond.

Q. What is your favorite part of being a comedian?
The laughter. That helps. Without it, you end up with stand-up tragedy, and you don't want that.

Q. Do you have any tips for comedians trying to break into the comedy business?
... Many times in the beginning you have to go on, you only get five minutes at 1:30 in the morning. You're performing for two drunks. One is a comic, the other is the owner of the club. It's like a hard thing, but keep at it.

Q. Tell me about the etiquette of comedy. When is it going too far?
Boy, are you talking to the wrong guy!

Q. What drives you?
More than one person in a room! It's that cheap. Once you start to hear laughter, it just takes you.

Q. I heard that you directed an episode of Mork & Mindy. Any interest in directing again?
...People ask me if I want to direct now. Can you imagine? Everybody, let's improvise! It would be the longest shoot ever.

Q. Did winning the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for Good Will Hunting free you up to take more chances?
Nah, that's just one of the perks. It's a moment that had a half-life of about six months. The first day people were like, Hey, congratulations! A month later it was Didn't you...? And six months later people were calling me Mork again.

Q. Have you come to any decisions about what you want to do?
...I'm going to find things I really believe in, well-written pieces with interesting actors and directors. I'm going to be a good husband and father. And God willing, I'm going to be able to urinate without too much exertion and pain. Those are my goals. Hold me to them.

Q. If they were to write your life story, what would you want it to say?
What would I want it to say? Push the envelope, I think. To quote Chuck Yeager, "Push the envelope, boy." Don't be afraid. Let fear be your inspiration.

(Talking about his trip to Afghanistan to entertain troups) -

The moment you get off the plane, everybody's heavily armed. It's like Charlton Heston's wet dream.

So they drink o'douls, which is a nonalcoholic beer. Which is kind of like using a nerf vibrator, it doesn't work.

Oh, yeah, they got that thing, the unmanned drone called "the predator." And they nicknamed it "the flying dildo," which is what it looks like. You look up in the sky going, "my god, look at that [bleep] go". [Laughter] and I wrote down -- you should call it "the little focker."

...you fly overhead going, "there's no roofs anywhere." [ Laughter ] and it's mined like crazy. I mean, there's -- it' be a long time before they have the Afghan Open. It will be a difficult time. "The fifth green -- oops, okay."

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Humorous Quotes from Robin Williams Interviews

Have you checked out this naughty audio cd? Click Here

Have you checked out Robin's vocal antics in this movie? Click Here

Humorous Quotes from
Robin Williams Interviews

Have you checked out
this naughty audio cd?

Click Here

Have you checked out
Robin's vocal antics in this movie?

Click Here