Humorous Quotes attributed to G. K. Chesterton
1874-1936, British Author

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

A detective story generally describes six living men discussing how it is that a man is dead. A modern philosophic story generally describes six dead men discussing how any man can possible be alive.

A liberated woman is one who rises up and says to her menfolk, 'I will not be dictated to,' and proceeds to become a stenographer.

Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.

Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

By experts in poverty I do not mean sociologists, but poor men.

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

Do not free the camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.

Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.

Half a truth is better than no politics.

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.

Journalism consists largely in saying ''Lord James is dead'' to people who never knew Lord James was alive. (The Wisdom of Father Brown)

Merely having an open mind is nothing; the object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.

Moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength is shown in levity.

My attitude toward progress has passed from antagonism to boredom. I have long ceased to argue with people who prefer Thursday to Wednesday because it is Thursday.

No man knows he is young while he is young.

Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about the things in my pocket. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past.

One of the great disadvantages of hurry is that it takes such a long time.

People generally quarrel because they cannot argue.

Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution.

Silence is the unbearable repartee.

The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried. (What's wrong with the world)

The doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man really clever who has not found that he is stupid.

The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to miss the train before.

The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all. (The Man who was Thursday)

The reformer is always right about what is wrong. He is generally wrong about what is right.

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. (The Man who was Thursday)

To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

Truth is sacred; and if you tell the truth too often nobody will believe it.

You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

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